🏒 The Toronto Star’ Damien Cox recently described NHL referees as the worst in professional sports. He’s not wrong.
It’s obvious that NHL officials are trained to treat the rule book as a collection of suggestions. After all, the rule book should never get in the way of the league’s top priority: “managing the game.”
Those looking for a fun drinking game while watching NHL hockey can get quite a buzz by simply predicting when the next “make-up call” will arrive.
Nowhere is the league’s “don’t impact the game” philosophy more evident than when an embellishment penalty—better known as diving—is called. Far too often, both the diver and the opponent involved are assigned minor penalties.
If the drama queen who collapses to the ice is pretending to be fouled, logic suggests no foul actually occured. Conversely, if there was a legitimate foul, who cares whether the impacted player goes down willingly?
🏒 So…a howitzer slap shot from the blueline is deflected and the puck soars high over the net and off the glass. When the puck falls harmlessly to the ice, play continues. But if the puck strikes the protective mesh and lands safely on the ice…play is halted.
Um…why?
🏒 Memo to the Montreal Canadiens:
If you’ve got three goalies…you don’t have one goalie.
🏒 Memo to Edmonton Oiler’s owner Daryl Katz:
After watching your GM Stan “Don’t Call Me Scotty” Bowman totally botch the team’s goaltending situation, why is he still employed? Also, do you happen to know a good real estate agent in the Toronto area? (Asking for a friend of mine named Connor)
🏒 Oh goody, the NHL is botching goaltender interference calls again—just in time for the playoffs. Here’s their latest contradictory decision from the past weekend. Don’t ask them to explain the rule. They can’t.
🏒 Welcome to the NHL’s What Have You Done for Me Lately Club. This year’s inductees include:
Paul Maurice (won last two Stanley Cups) Now out of the playoffs
Spencer Carbery (2025 Jack Adams Award Winner, coach of the year) Now out of the playoffs
Rick Tocchet (2024 Jack Adams Award Winner, coach of the year) Now out of the playoffs
Jim Montgomery (2023 Jack Adams Award Winner, coach of the year) Now out of the playoffs
Darryl Sutter (2022 Jack Adams Award Winner, coach of the year) Now unemployed
🏒 Finally, how does one apply for the best job in hockey?
No, we’re not talking about coaching or serving as a team GM.
We’re talking about the guy who springs into action every time a goal is scored in the NHL. Within seconds, he must identify which player just royally screwed up and is primarily responsible for the puck sitting in the back of his team’s net.
Camera operators are instantly told which player to zoom in on as he sheepishly skates back to the bench—ready to endure a verbal assault from the small army of assistant coaches and the stone-faced daggers from irritated teammates.
I’m guessing the official job title is Goat Finder.
Sounds like fun.
