What’s in a name? Or in the NHL’s case, what’s in a nickname?
Welcome to HockeySpy.ca’s tongue-in-cheek, not so serious, mostly useless, somewhat weird, occasionally silly, and totally nonsensical review of all 32 team nicknames.
NHL team nicknames range from the inspired to the indefensible. While reviewing them is obviously subjective, we feel comfortable stating that the HockeySpy.ca analysis is the finest ever written since hockey first began.
(Okay, that shameless self-promotion is hardly true, but let’s get into it anyway)
- DISQUALIFIED SINGULAR NAMES
Some teams never even made it past our front door. Any franchise that chose a singular nickname is immediately disqualified from HockeySpy.ca approval. After all, there are more than 20 players on every NHL roster. There’s nothing singular about that.
Lightning
Naming your team after a violent bolt of electricity that causes fires, destroys property, and occasionally kills people feels like a branding choice made without much reflection. Lightning strikes are often classified as natural disasters. Much like the decision to adopt this nickname.
Mammoth
Had they simply gone plural (Mammoths), they might have escaped disqualification. Unfortunately, the plural version is nearly impossible to pronounce clearly, especially for anyone missing their front teeth or over-served at the local bar. Many fans preferred Outlaws, which would have justified the team’s aggressive play, frequent fights, and repeated trips to the penalty box.
Wild
Naming a team after an uninhabited area makes little sense, even if the state has plenty of it. The dictionary also defines the word wild as “not based on sound reasoning.” We couldn’t agree more.
Kraken
When we think of hockey, mythical sea monsters don’t exactly come to mind. It could have been worse, though. We narrowly avoided the Seattle Giant Squids or the Seattle Octopuses. Just imagine the holding penalties.
- STUPID NAMES
These teams made the cut, but just barely. They all have some explaining to do.
Flames
The Calgary Flames were originally the Atlanta Flames. Atlanta’s owner, Tom Cousins, apparently thought reminding locals about a massive fire that destroyed roughly 40% of their city during the Civil War was a solid branding move. Ah yes—fond memories. Moving the team to cold-climate Calgary and keeping the name somehow made even less sense. Calgarians should have risen and initiated their own civil war to demand a more logical choice.
Predators
With the Epstein Files dominating the news and social media these days, being identified as a predator may not be everyone’s first choice. The word predator can also describe someone who ruthlessly exploits others—which may explain how Nashville has convinced so many of their fans to buy those hideous yellow jerseys.
Hurricanes
Yet another team aligning with a natural disaster that destroys communities and kills people. Were they trying to one-up Tampa Bay by choosing something even deadlier? To be fair, a rapidly rotating tropical-cyclone does resemble the team’s relentless offensive-zone cycling. So, there’s that.
Blue Jackets
Why stop there? Why not the Columbus Red Pants or the Green Socks? Yes, history buffs will point to Union Army uniforms from the Civil War. But every time that cannon fires after a goal—terrifying children and threatening hearing loss— we wish they had opted for something more relevant. Perhaps the Columbus Christophers works better?
Canucks
Most Canadians know a Canuck simply means “Canadian.” Fewer realize it began as a derogatory term used by Americans in the late 1800s. In a 32-team league, we’re confident some fans in the 25 U.S. cities still glance at their ticket and ask, “What the hell is a Canuck anyway?”
Bruins
Yes, “bruin” means brown bear. But hockey is a winter sport, and bears prefer to sleep from late fall until early spring. That’s not ideal symbolism. Then again, bears tend to be scary and aggressive, which may explain this franchise’s long history of hard-nosed, nasty hockey. But not enough to escape our Stupid category.
Penguins
Yes, hockey is a cold weather sport, and yes, penguins do love the cold weather. But have you seen them walk? Or should we say wobble? It’s like they’re trying to deliver the coffee without spilling any on the way. If that’s how they walk, how the hell are they ever going to skate?
Sharks
Hockey is played on frozen water. Sharks prefer open water. They also lack legs, which complicates skating. The team logo includes a hungry shark chomping on the shaft of a hockey stick. Real hockey fans know that breaking an opponent’s stick is penalized regularly.
Stars
Dallas took the lazy route. When the Minnesota North Stars relocated, they dropped “North” for obvious reasons and kept “Stars” for no reason at all. Are they movie stars? Massive luminous balls of plasma that flicker in the evening sky? Even they don’t seem sure. They shrugged and went with Stars. End of discussion.
Ducks
Back when the Walt Disney Corporation owned the Ducks, they were known—despite relentless public ridicule—as the Mighty Ducks. Not because it made any sense, but rather to tie in and promote the Mighty Ducks movie franchise. When the team was sold back in 2006, they rebranded as the Ducks—as if hockey players have short legs and webbed feet. And of course, ducks love being in a row—hardly an ideal penalty-killing formation. Just saying.
- EVOLVED NAMES
Some team nicknames start out sounding totally ridiculous, only to evolve over time. Though meaningless at first, once heard and spoken repeatedly for years, the literal meaning is forgotten, and the name gains acceptance.
Red Wings
What is a red wing? Why does the logo include a tire? In early 20th-century Detroit, the auto industry ruled everything. Owner James Norris once played amateur hockey for the Winged Wheelers, reworked the logo, and rebranded the Falcons as the Red Wings. Announced today, it would sound absurd. After decades of dominance, it sounds completely natural. And it surely beats other options like the Detroit Hubcaps or the Detroit Carburetors.
Maple Leafs
If heard for the first time today, the name would sound like a prank, but back in 1927, it symbolized pride, courage, and military tradition. Team owner Conn Smythe—a Canadian army Major— borrowed the maple leaf theme from Canadian forces during World War I. Eventually, the literal meaning faded, and the name has reached iconic status globally. Still, there must be newbies out there somewhere asking what a tree appendage has to do with hockey. Others continue to ask: Shouldn’t it be the Maple Leaves? Is this a clear example of symbolism overriding good grammar?
Golden Knights
There is no such thing as a golden knight. No legend. No mythology. Owner Bill Foley liked West Point’s Black Knights and swapped “black” for “gold” because Nevada produces gold. The name hasn’t aged yet. It still sounds dumb. Give it time.
- SOMEWHAT APPROPRIATE NAMES
Canadiens
It would make sense that a team located in Canada would call itself the Canadiens. After all, the New York Americans were once part of the NHL. But in this case—not that many fans, especially in America, have ever noticed—the team uses the French spelling (Canadiens rather than Canadians). It does seem a bit odd, that a team located in a Canadian province that features a separatist political party reveres the franchise and its name.
Senators
Ottawa is Canada’s capital city, so the tie-in works. Unfortunately, senators are also widely associated with naps and extended retirements. Not exactly elite-athlete energy. Aligning a hockey team with a political retirement home may not be first on everyone’s list.
Islanders
They play on Long Island. Simple. Accurate. Bonus points for differentiating themselves from Manhattan’s Rangers and aligning wealthy suburbs with millionaire athletes.
Capitals
Yes, Washington is the capital of the U.S. No, people can’t be capitals. Unless the team is named after uppercase letters, this one feels a wee bit odd.
Oilers
A direct nod to Alberta’s oil industry and Edmonton’s economic backbone. Their rivalry with the Flames is always must viewing. After all, oil mixed with fire never ends well.
Blues
It’s been said that St. Louis helped popularize blues music in the early 1900s. The team’s name likely comes from the song “St. Louis Blues” by W.C. Handy. A stroke of luck, for certain. After all, who wants to cheer for the St. Louis Hip Hoppers?
Jets
Winnipeg’s aviation history and RCAF presence make this one work. Jets are fast. Unfortunately, the current season resembles a deadly crash landing.
- WTF? NAMES
SABRES
We’re not sure why they’re the Sabres, but after missing the playoffs for 14 consecutive years, it’s clear the sword they’re named after needs a good sharpening.
PANTHERS
It’s odd that Florida took a pass on the Florida Alligators, Florida Crocodiles, or even better the Florida Cubans.
FLYERS
Philadelphia should have rebranded as the Bullies back in hockey’s wild 1970s.
Devils
When the New Jersey franchise started to dominate in the mid-90’s, boring hockey became the norm. “The Devils made me do it” was a common explanation from various coaches.
Kings
In Los Angeles, team owner Jack Kent Cooke wanted a name that sounded royal, powerful, and major-league. The nickname has a regal tone for sure, but the original purple jerseys and ugly yellow pants left his skaters looking more like court jesters than kings.
Rangers
Many believe that New York’s Rangers were named by accident. Back in 1926, the team was founded by Tex Rickard. Newspaper writers started calling them Tex’s Rangers—a fun reference to the Texas Rangers law enforcement dudes.
- THE BEST OF THEM ALL
Blackhawks.
No, they weren’t named after a dark coloured bird. The team was founded back in 1926. Team owner Frederic McLaughlin had previously served in the Black Hawk Division of the U.S. army (named after native American leader Chief Black Hawk). Thankfully the team has avoided the politically correct movement that has recently forced baseball’s Indians to rebrand as Guardians, and football’s Redskins to morph into the Commanders.
Politically correct or not, we don’t want anything, or anyone, to mess with the best damn uniforms in NHL history.
