New Sharks Coach Downsizes His Family

It’s only five games, after all.

But San Jose Sharks coach Ryan Warsofsky begs to differ. The rookie coach—having endured three regulation-time defeats along with two overtime losses—is already feeling the heat. And while it’s true that young, upstart coaches entering the league often bring fresh ideas with them, Warsofsky may have jumped the shark a bit on this one.

Said Warsofsky: “Yeah, I think so. A lot of new players—we’ve just got to keep working, keep teaching from the coaches, keep preparing them. But yeah, trust me, it sucks. I keep telling myself there has to be a reason this keeps happening. I’d give up one of my children for a fucking win.”

Don’t take our word for it. Check it out here.

This immediately brings to mind four key questions requiring an answer:

• Has Warsofsky zeroed in on which child will be asked to leave?


• Has the child in question already started packing?


• Has Warsofsky spoken with his wife since announcing his emergency plan?


• How many divorce lawyers have contacted the Sharks so far?

HockeySpy.ca has sent a team of agents to San Jose to dig up these critical answers. Stand by.

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